Poker n Pies

Mom has the girls over for their monthly poker night. I love to hear her laugh, eat their h'ordeurves, and track their conversations from already good-humored to entertainingly inarticulate. But, I have to wake up very early tomorrow morning, punch in at 6 am, and learn how to make peach, strawberry, blueberry, raspberry, and cherry tarts. Did I mention I’ve never baked? Other than Giant Eagle “Break and Bake” sugar block cookies, I’ve never baked. So I guess what I’m trying to say is, I’ve never baked. And tomorrow, hours before I would ever have the sun rise, I’m going to bake. In my neon-striped visor, red apple-tinged tshirt, with coffee mug on/in hand, I’m going to bake.

Tonight though, I feel like the mom, sitting in her room, needing to get to sleep, hearing her daughter and friends enjoy each other’s company, keeping the door cracked slightly incase things get too out of hand, going to the kitchen to rinse out my glass when I could easily do it in the morning, exiting gracelessly because I’m a bit uncomfortable, hoping they think I'm a "cool" daughter, hoping there’s not a big mess left in the morning, even though I know there will be.

I keep scooting to the fridge to nab the girls' Stefanelli's sponge candy from the second shelf. I've had multiple servings of Tostitos, hot cheese dip, Swiss cheese wedges, and noisy grown-ups. My eyelids are heavy now, my stomach, overstuffed, and my mom, still enjoying her favorite social event of the month.

Endnotes:
It’s a gift to reconnect with old friends. I should stop trying to understand why it happens, the motives or circumstances behind it—why at this point in my life, their lives, it’s time to reconnect. I should realize it’s a gift, nothing more, nothing less. I should accept and enjoy it.

Whoever said you can’t buy self-esteem was wrong. I bought a shirt today at TJmax. The brand’s name is “Self Esteem.”

In the summer, the weekend doesn’t mean as much as during the school year. I don’t look forward to Fridays. I clean out the dishwasher on Fridays, work two different places, and go to bed knowing I will trade sleeping in tomorrow morning for waking and baking.

The girls just yelled "Yaaaay!" in unison.