Realization #2

Before today's midterm exam in Public Policy and the Black Community, my professor asked: "Moore, do you work?"
[I work my ass off, all the time, yes].
"No" I replied.

After the exam, I whispered, "actually I do work. I'm an ARD in the dorms." I tried to explain Temple's partnership with Messiah College, and how I'm an ARD at my pseudo-campus across the street from Temple's cafeteria. I usually have this terribly confusing explanation down to a science, but it's harder when you're trying to whisper.

"How many hours a week do you do this?"
"Well, I usually just do whatever my boss needs--no set hours."
"Do you have any free time?"
[gasssppp, LAUGH, ARE YOU KIDDING ME?]
"Yeah! Why do you have something for me?"
"I have some work in the Policy Center. What's your schedule like Monday? We can talk about it."
[I would love to work in the Policy Center...if I had energy. any energy whatsoever.]
"I could meet after 12:30?"
"Great!!" He sounded overjoyed.

I realize I have no free time (at least for functioning productively). I eat meals at my computer, and eat them so fast (and do this so regularly) that when I am out, I mechanically shovel food down and feel uncomfortable afterwords (in addition to a complete hog against my leisurely-lunching friends). I take showers on no kind of regular basis because I would rather look and feel like a dirtball than lose those 20 minutes (+ those additional minutes for hair drying, no way!).

I have two sweatshirts I usually wear: 'Messiah Falcons' and 'Harvard University.' A friend last semester said, "This is my archetype Sam," pointing to me in my black Harvard hoodie, out-of-style flares, nike sneakers, and greasy bun. He said it kindly, endearingly even, but I slouched and pitied my prototype.

My tailbone sometimes hurts from sitting so much (isn't it absurd I stay seated to complain about this? This sitting-typing thing is all I know, damnit!).

My friend replied to a rather frantic text I sent after class: "We'll work on your free-time apology later," she said.
"Ok!...but, but, I still might do it if I can join it with this project, or that project, or..!"

I need help. Or maybe, a bulky supply of magical wands to conjure up and ensure some free-time (so I can fill it up with more work)? Anyone know of a good magical wand wholesaler?